FULLY ALIVE Somehow
by 1tE5o6
Summary: Shilo and Erin find themselves trapped in the Naruto world as Ino and Hinata- where their whole existance depends on the decisions of two wacked up Shinigami otakus.   OC'SXAKATSUKI. RATED M FOR HILLY'S PERVERTEDNESS AND HIDAN'S POTTY MOUTH!
1. I like trains

Summary: _'__~ Welcome to the game,'_

_It had written on it.  
>"What ga-" I muttered- but stopped, because before our eyes the words of the paper had changed to form a new sentence.<em>

_'~The game isn't hard, and it's easy to understand.  
>As fans of Naruto yourself- you know there are some things that you would like to change in the story.<strong><br>**Now I'm giving you the chance, as long as you do what I say.  
><em>_Oc pairings. -.-**  
><strong>_-

**DISCLAIMER:  
>I DON'T OWN NARUTO, BECAUSE IF I DID- I WOULD BE SOMEWHAT INTELLIGENT.<br>SAME GOES FOR MY FRIEND WHO HELPED ME WRITE THIS!**

_My life is quite boring actually.  
>I don't know how I survived 17 years of it.<br>I wasn't going to live for much longer anyway- right?  
>Well… in a literal sense.<br>_-  
>It was 5:00 PM when I called Erin.<br>I was just checking my Facebook- beforehand, and I got a pleasant surprise in the form of a chat message.

**_Erin Parc_**

**4:46 PM Erin Parc**  
><strong>TAAACOOO!<strong>

**4:47 PM Shilo - McAwesomefries**  
><strong>Hello fluffykins.<strong>

**4:47 PM Shilo – McAwesomefries**  
><strong>Yes. That is your new name.<strong>

**4:48 PM Erin Parc**  
><strong>XD can u call me? My fb is stuffing up.<strong>

**4:48 PM Shilo- McAwesomefries**  
><strong>Sure thing, I just gotta find the darn phone.<strong>  
><strong>*Head desk*<strong>

**4:49 PM Erin Parc**  
><strong>*head potato*<strong>

**4:50 PM Shilo McAwesomefries**  
><strong>*Face book*<strong>

**-**  
><strong>4:52 PM Erin Parc<strong>  
><strong>ahh…. I see what u did there ;D<strong>

**4:53 PM Shilo McAwesomefries**  
><strong>;D I found the Phone. I am now proceeding to call you!<strong>

**ERIN PARC IS OFFLINE.**

****  
><strong><em>-<br>_**  
>I dialled in my friend's number with a sigh…<br>It rung for a while, but she eventually picked up.  
>"Hello?" That was Erin alright.<br>"HEEEYYY Fluffykins" I snickered.  
>"OH MY GOD BOB. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME IN PUBLIC." She gasped.<br>As did I.  
>"Anyway- did you want to talk about something?" I asked her.<br>"Nothing in particular… But I want you to check out a website for me." Erin said- with clear excitement in her tone.  
>I opened a new tab.<br>"What's the site called?" I asked with a yawn.  
>Erin gave me a funny sounding URL, but whatever. I was probably gonna be rick-rolled, or Trolled.<br>To my surprise it came up with a weird Gypsy site.  
>'Just press Okay, and you'll be in the midst of an adventure suited to you.'<br>This text was written across the middle of it, in big purple block letters.  
>I had a quizzical look on my face, as I scrolled down the page.<br>"Why are you showing me this?" I asked her with a laugh.  
>"I'm just wondering what would happen if we both clicked it together!"<br>She grinned.  
>I rolled my eyes.<br>"Are you stupid? It's probably some sort of hack thing!" I shouted.  
>Erin pleaded to me until I gave up.<br>"OKAY!" I shouted.  
>"YAYY!" She cheered on the other end of the phone.<br>"We press 'okay' in 3 seconds." I announced, hovering my mouse over the 'okay' button.  
>"1" I started.<br>"2" She continued.  
>"3!" We said together, pressing the button.<br>We were lead to another page, that had the words;  
><strong>'THIS IS YOUR ADVENTURE ADVICE.<br>When the clock strikes midnight,  
>Your adventure shall begin.<br>There is only one way out-  
>Pass all levels to win.<br>When you've done things right,  
>You will find a key.<br>Hold it to the sky  
>And you shall proceed.<br>But, please be warned-  
>There are serious risks.<br>You have one life-line,  
>Who will assist.<br>No need to panic,  
>just rely on each other.<br>For only then,  
>Will adventures be funner…'<br>**  
>"Are you happy now?" I yawned to Erin.<br>"That was… disappointing." I could tell she was pouting.  
>I shrugged, even though she couldn't see me.<br>We talked until 10:30 PM, and then I switched off my laptop and slid into my bed.  
>But I was curious.<br>_'What if it DID happen?'_

I woke up, GUESS WHERE!  
>In my room.<br>I got dressed for school, half- annoyed.  
>Erin and I had made plans to catch the train to school.<br>Yippee.  
>I could just catch the bus- but nooo. Apparently Erin likes Trains.<br>A LOT.  
>In fact, when I walked to join up with her- she was singing a horribly obnoxious song.<br>'Got bad grades? I like trains!  
>Awkward dates? I like trains!<br>Don't like trains?

I LIKE TRAINS!" She shouted out, making my head hurt.  
>Stupid morning people.<br>The train arrived, conveniently AFTER Erin finished her singing.  
>We both boarded- and we would soon discover that…<br>Neither of us had a sixth sense.  
>Like- really.<br>I could still hear her humming that stupid train song on the way.  
>We were in the last carriage, because the last one is ALWAYS empty.<br>Erin sat up suddenly, remembering something.  
>"Ooh! Shilo! I wrote down that poem thingy from the website."<br>She beamed, tugging a piece of paper out of her school bag.  
>Well before I could take a look at it, the train came to a sudden halt, and I tumbled forwards and fell on the floor.<br>Erin was too busy cracking up to notice that the train had- for some reason stopped.  
>I got up, muttering a line of curses under my breath.<br>Well, Erin didn't end up laughing for that long.  
>Mainly because the train blew up.<br>And… So did we.


	2. I hate the corner

CHAPTER 2

I groaned as I made out some blurry figures staring down at me.  
>"Ino! Ino? Are you okay?" That was a seemingly familiar voice.<br>I just couldn't tell who owned it.  
>"Tch, troublesome." I heard a mutter.<br>That woke me up, and I blinked several times.  
>"Are you cosplayers?" I blinked, as I realised I was staring up at three males who had an overwhelming resemblance to Shikamaru, Chouji and Asuma from Naruto.<br>"Ino, seriously- are you okay?" 'Chouji' asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.**  
><strong>I whacked it away immediately.**  
><strong>"My name isn't Ino, and I don't KNOW who you are." I growled, looking around.  
>Hmm, this room looked familiar to what they held the preliminaries in, In Naruto.<br>My eyes widened.  
>Wait- I couldn't be…<br>I looked down at my current attire, and of course. I was dressed like the blonde Yamanaka people thought I was.  
>"Oh…. Crud….." I mumbled, pinching my skin to make sure I wasn't dreaming.<p>

But wait…. I suddenly remembered a loud explosion- the train had exploded.  
>The train had exploded…. And I must have… died?<p>

"AHHHH! OH MAN! OH MAN OH MAN! I'M DEAD, AREN'T I? I'M SOOOOOO DEAD! MY MUM IS GONNA KILL ME! Wait…. CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE FIND THE IRONY IN THIS STATEMENT?" I shouted- no, I screamed hysterically.  
>My 'teammates' stared at me like I was crazy- which I probably am considering the whole waking up as Ino thing.<br>"I-Ino! Calm down!" Said Asuma… or I guess Asuma-_sensei _in this case. "What's wrong with you?" He questioned, helping me into a standing position.

"What is wrong with me? ME? I'M NOT SOME DEAD ANIME CHARACTER!" I shouted- completely not losing my cool. I'm totally still a cool cat.  
>By then everybody in the room was staring at me. Great.<br>But then came my saviour in disguise- Hinata Hyuuga.

"Okay fellows, back away from my girl here! I know she's hot but control your selves!" She barked, acting as a barrier between them and me, the currently insane.

"Hinata? Is that…you?" Asked Chouji, eyeing the _shy _girl suspiciously.  
>"What of it, Fat…" Oh she wouldn't. She wouldn't dare, "BULOUS! FABULOUS! What of it, Fabulous?"<br>Nice save, moron. The three gawked at her while she did some sort of nervous chuckle.  
>"If you don't mind, I'd like to have a word with Ino… in private." Without another word Hinata dragged me away from everybody else around the arena and then continued to slap me. In the face. Hard.<p>

"OUCH! WHAT THE HELL HINATA?" I yelled at her clutching my red cheek.  
>"It's not Hinata dummy. It's Erin."<p>

"WHY DID YOU SLAP ME THEN?" I yelled even more furiously.  
>"To convince you you're not dreaming!" Erin replied, narrowing her eyes. "You do realise what's happening, right?" She asked.<br>"Well," I started sighing "We died, and then woke up here- apparently in different peoples bodies… then you slapped me for no reason. Do I get a prize?" I mocked still rubbing my sore cheek.  
>Man she can slap…<br>"You missed the part where- WE'RE IN THE FRICKING NARUTO UNIVERSE YOU CRUD MUFFIN! HOW THE HELL DID WE GET HERE ANYWAY!" I slapped my hand over her mouth to quiet her down.  
>"Okay…okay" I muttered- trying to get this together in my own head. That's when I noticed she was holding a piece of scrounged up paper in her hand.<br>"What's that?" I asked pointing to it. She looked at her hand and realised she was indeed holding something.  
>Dumbass.<br>Erin…or Hinata un-scrounged the paper and instead scrounged up her face.

"This looks like the paper I wrote that weird poem on… but this isn't the poem." She mumbled confused. I looked at the paper, and was suddenly confused too.

'**_~ Welcome to the game,_**'

It had written on it.  
>"What ga-" I muttered- but stopped, because before our eyes the words of the paper had changed to form a new sentence.<p>

'**_~The game isn't hard, and it's easy to understand.  
>As fans of Naruto yourself- you know there are some things that you would like to change in the story.<br>So here is your chance!  
>But… it won't be what you want. Oh no.<br>Not at all.  
>You shall do as I say, and once you have- you will find a key.<br>Collect all the keys to move on.  
>Failed to collect a key and you will be forced to restart.<em>**

**_When the Game is over, you shall win a prize- but what it is…  
>Is classified.<br>Haha that rhymed._**

**_Do you accept these rules?~_**'

Erin and I just stared at the paper… waiting for it to change again- which it did.

**_~Too bad. You're playing anyway.  
>Your first mission is:<em>**

**_To win, both of you._**

**_Be careful! It's harder than it looks!~_**'

We we're silent for a while, thinking about what the paper had said.  
>"You know what, I liked the poem better." Ezi muttered frowning.<p>

"I HATE you." I growled, whirling around to punch her in the face.  
>She put her hands in front of herself protectively before ducking down and sweeping my feet.<br>I fell on my ass, with as much grace as a potato.  
>She offered me a hand, as if to help me up and I was so furious, I lunged at her.<br>We rolled around on the floor trying to kill each other, until the Third Hokage stepped in.  
>Yeah.<br>The. Third. Hokage.  
>The dead guy.<br>"What is going on here?" He asked with a concerned smile.  
>I felt someone holding me back as I was fuming with rage.<br>I could see Kurenai sensei holding Erin back, behind the Hokage.  
>"WHAT IS THIS, PRIMARY SCHOOL? LET ME KICK HER ASS!" I heard Erin scream.<br>"Sheesh, ANGER ISSUES MUCH?" I screamed back, ignoring the fact that it was a totally hypocritical statement.  
>We were both silent for a while, before bursting out into hysterics.<br>"What has gotten IN to you Hinata?" Kurenai asked, loosening her grip.  
>'Hinata' put on a somewhat evil smirk, and stood up.<br>"Let's just forget this ever happened, and go watch the fights, okay. Sasuke's fighting now." Asuma said slowly, as if he was talking to someone who belonged in an asylum.  
>Oh wait…<br>Erin and I both ran to the railings, when we heard Sasuke's name.  
>"BOO YOU SASUKE!" Erin shouted.<br>"KICK SASUKE'S ASS, RANDOM DUDE THAT I KILL LATER IN THE SERIES!"  
>I yelled.<br>"Ino, Are you serious? I thought you LIKED Sasuke." Shikamaru said.  
>I turned and glared at him.<br>"Are you kidding? This guy is-" I paused, and shook my head irritably.  
>Shino, Kiba and Naruto ran over to us.<br>"YOSH! IT'S LEE!" Erin shouted, grinning ear to ear.  
>"Hinata, seriously are you feeling alright? You're acting weird." Kiba said, eying her down.<br>"SHINOSHINOSHINOSHINOSHINO!" I shouted, glomping him.  
>He seemed confused enough.<br>"Get yo hands off mah teammate woman!" Erin said, with attitude.  
>THEN she saw Naruto.<br>"!" She screamed, glomping HIM.  
>"Hinata, this isn't like you." Naruto said, trying to pull her off.<br>"Oh, what EVER. I don't want you ANYWAY. I'm gonna save myself for… Itachi!" She said, dramatically.  
>Sasuke had heard this, and turned to us, half way through his battle.<br>"What did you say?" He asked, darkly.  
>"ITACHI! YOUR Incredibly HOT BROTHER!" Erin shouted, excruciatingly loud.<br>"Why you little…" He started to say, but he was cut off when I threw my sandal at him.  
>"ALRIGHT. YOU TWO. IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOUR MATCHES ARE CALLED."<br>Bellowed Asuma.  
>"Damn it. I HATE the corner." I mumbled.<br>Erin scowled, and we went off to sit in a corner.  
>"Hey Shilo…" She said softly.<br>"Yeah?" I asked.  
>"Do you think maybe we should take this more seriously?" She asked.<br>I thought for a moment, then grinned.  
>"Pfft, Nahhh." I decided.<br>"Maybe we should start acting like our characters." She whispered.  
>"Why? OH look! Neji's just a few meters away. Tug his hair!" I suggested, pointing.<br>"I'll do it in my battle." She said back, with a grin.  
>"Alright, I seriously need to use the bathroom." I sighed.<br>"You should have gone at the train station." Erin lectured.  
>I shrugged, and went into the bathroom. To find Sakura washing her hands.<br>"Oh HAI." I ginned, leaning on a cubicle.  
>She ignored me for a minute before saying.<br>"What do you want Ino?"  
>"Really, I don't want anything. But seriously consider giving up Sasuke.<br>You'll kinda regret liking him later." I told her, with a yawn.  
>"I'm not giving up Sasuke to you!" She barked.<br>"Okay, sheesh. Have the duck butt." I shouted back.  
>Sakura backed out of the bathroom kinda shocked.<br>"Oh… Okay…" She whispered.

About a minute later, I walked out to find 'Ino Yamanaka vs Sakura Haruno'  
>On the screen.<br>I groaned in disappointment and turned to Erin who was grinning evilly.  
>"I'm not gonna be able to do this! I don't have any NINJA skills!" I sobbed.<br>Erin grinned wildly.  
>"You'll think of something! You're dead either way." Erin tried to encourage me.<br>I frowned.  
>I jumped down to the arena and fell, yet again- on my ass.<br>"HAH YOU POTATO!" I heard Erin laugh.  
>"SHUT IT, YA CARROT!" I snapped back.<br>Sakura was standing in front of me.  
>"Ino, you and I have a long history but it's time for us to fi-"<br>I ran over and hit her.  
>"The art of surprise." I smiled.<br>She got up, rubbing her face.  
>"Ino…" She started to say.<br>I rolled my eyes, and threw my other sandal at her.  
>"WHAT THE-" I cut her off again, by kicking her in the face.<br>"YOSH, this is so fun!" I grinned, as Sakura groaned, trying to make me stop kicking her.  
>"Okay, I haven't said start." Hiyate said, pulling me off her.<br>I shrugged.  
>"Can we go now?" I asked.<br>He sighed and nodded.  
>We fought, pretty much like the fight should have been fought.<br>We were nearly at the end.  
>Sakura and I ran at each other, like how the fight was SUPPOSED to go.<br>Except I ducked instead of hitting her.  
>Causing her to topple over, and hit her head on the floor.<br>"The winner is Ino Yamanaka?" Hiyate asked, not really sure what was going on.  
>I picked up my sandal, walking off.<br>"Damn straight." I muttered.

"Wow, Ino. You did well predicting the outcome of the punch." Asuma commented.  
>"Yeah, for some reason I just KNEW that we'd tie if I hadn't ducked." I said, with a snort of laugher.<br>Erin ran up to me, fist pumping.  
>"YEEAHHHHH! Hahahahaha, you look like a hobo with only one shoe." She laughed.<br>"Who let you out of the corner?" I asked suspiciously.  
>"Now all you need to do is fight Neji, then hopefully we're getting the hell outta here." I said to her.<br>"Yeah, how am I supposed to fight a freaking NINJA?" She wailed, waving her arms around frantically.  
>"Just sing or something, sheesh. Trust me- it'll work." I grinned.<br>"Hey, that reminds me." She started.  
>"I don't think I like trains anymore." She whispered dramatically.<br>"Why, It's not like they'll EXPLODE and KILL you or anything." I laughed.  
>"Pfft. OF course not!" She grinned.<br>Kiba was starting his fight with Naruto now.  
>"By the way- how did you figure out how to use chakra when you did the mind transfer?" Erin asked me, wide eyed.<br>I shrugged.  
>"I'm a Narutard, I just know." I replied calmly.<br>"Teach me then!" She whined.  
>"Um… Clear your thoughts then think of all your spiritual energy whirling around in your stomach…" I offered.<br>Erin closed her eyes, concentrating hard.  
>"I CAN'T CLEAR MY MIND!" She cried, then sighed and turned to the battle below us.<br>"Who should I cheer for?" Erin asked.  
>"Just cheer for them both." I shrugged.<br>She grinned and ran to the railing.  
>"KIBA! I LOVE YOU! BUT- IN THE WAY I LOVE POTATOES. NOT IN THE WAY I LOVE ITACHI, WHICH IS QUITE EXTRAORDINARY!" She shouted, REALLY loudly.<br>"ANYWAY! I'M GONNA CHEER FOR YOU, CAUSE NARUTO REJECTED ME CUZ' HE LOVED THAT STUPID FOREHEAD! AND HE STILL HASN'T REPLIED TO MY FUTURE LOVE CONFESSION, DURING WHICH I NEARLY GOT KILLED, SAVING HIS ASS! WHICH BY THE WAY IS IN FOUR YEARS TIME!" She finished, trying to find her breath.  
>"OH! AND GOOOOO KIBAAA!" She added.<br>"GOOOOOO AKAMARU!" I added to her cheer.  
>Kiba was, bright red and confused.<br>But it seriously didn't help, because he lost.  
>Hinata ran down the steps and threw some ointment at him.<br>"I TOLD YOU TO WIN!" She cried.  
>"Hinata! Are you okay?" Naruto asked, running up to her.<br>"SHUT UP BEFORE I SLAP YOU. BITCH!" She hissed, storming off.

**Erin-**  
>Then I spotted Hinata's name on the screen.<br>And Neji's.  
>I turned back around and ran onto the battle field.<br>"YAAAAY! I GET TO SLAP SOMEONE NOW!" I smiled.  
>I turned to Hiyate.<br>"Please start the match. This guy talks for ever." I muttered to him.  
>"Begin." He nodded.<br>Then Neji started talking.  
>I yawned.<br>"Yo, Neji. I ORDER you to forfeit." I said, putting my hands on my hips.  
>"What?" He asked, glaring.<br>"You heard me. I mean didn't your precious daddy say to dedicate your life to serving me? If that's the case, you wouldn't want to go against his word." I grinned.  
>A shoe hit me hard in the head, and I whirled around to glare at Shilo.<br>"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" I shouted.  
>"FOR BEING ALIVE!" She shouted back.<br>"I'M NOT ALIVE!" I yelled back.  
>I turned to Neji, and took a Hyuuga stance.<br>Neji was back to his talking about me fore fitting and not deserving to be a ninja.  
>"Come at me Bro- I mean… Nii-san!" I said snidely.<br>He ran trying to hit me, and I ducked all of his attacks yelling.  
>"Whack-a-mole"<br>Until I ran around the room for some reason, singing  
>"Do you believe… In destiny?"<br>He was seriously getting pissed off.  
>"STRIP TIME!" I called, zipping off my jacket.<br>"Seriously. What is the season?" I grinned.  
>"It's so hot in that thing."<br>Neji ran at me again.  
>"Hey MACARENA-NO-JUTSU!" I shouted, punching him in the face.<br>"Oh, dear god…" Shilo mumbled.  
>Neji stumbled back, a little shocked.<br>Then he shot me an ice-cold glare.  
>I rolled my eyes and threw a shurriken at him.<br>It missed.  
>Like- MISSED.<br>"JUST FINISH IT HINATA!" 'Ino' screamed.  
>I nodded seriously at her.<br>I lunged again, and Neji was prepared to block my attack.  
>I drew my fist back, running at a fast pace.<br>I threw a punch, and Neji ducked it.  
>I smiled evilly, and soon you'll found out why.<br>I kneed him hard in the crotch.  
>"AGHH!" Neji screamed, falling on the ground in pain.<br>I held a kunai up victoriously.  
>"YO BITCH! THAT'S HOW WE ROLL!" I shouted.<br>At that moment, A huge surge of pain occurred in my head.  
>I crouched down, holding my hands to my head.<br>I shut my eyes tight, and I felt nauseous.


	3. Spoilers are against the rules

I woke up, rubbing my temples.  
>Was I in the hospital?<br>I looked around- noticing I was in what appeared to be a forest.  
>Shilo was asleep next to me, drooling and murmuring.<br>She always woke up after me. That girl's sleeping patterns are crazy!  
>She'll go to sleep at 10 PM and then wake up at 4 PM<br>I looked down at myself. I was in Hinata's Shippuden outfit.  
>This place seemed familiar, but I couldn't work out where exactly it was.<br>Shilo was still Ino, but like me- was Shippuden.  
>"Shilo, wake up." I hissed, poking her shoulder violently.<br>She sat up with a scream.  
>"What is going- ughhhh…. My head…." She cut herself off, burying her head in her lap.<p>

"My stomach is cold, where are we?" Shilo mumbled after a minute or so, fingering the thick purple material of her Ino Shippuden top.  
>"You're the real Naruto nerd here, you tell me!" I snapped.<br>She blinked a few times, looking around.  
>"This place is… I'm not sure… Can't remember." She sighed hopelessly.<br>"The paper!" I gasped, searching whatever pockets I had.  
>I found it folded up, and pulled it out- reading it.<p>

**Congratulations on passing level 1.**

"Thanks." Shilo muttered sarcastically, reading over my shoulder.

**You may recognise this place. This is where Lee fought his clone in Naruto Shippuden.  
><strong>  
>"But filler doesn't count." I shouted.<p>

**STFU, IT DOES NOW.  
>Any way- you are about a month before Naruto returns to Konoha.<br>You can find the Akatsuki base if you use your Byakugan.  
>Don't bother with the stupid clone traps- just blow a hole through the side of the base, like they actually SHOULD have.<br>Your task?  
>Each of you has to RECIEVE kiss from three of the Akatsuki members.<br>NO EXCEPTIONS on RECEIVE.  
>If one you are killed, you will start right back here again. Their memories will be reset.<br>However, if you get killed say after receiving a kiss from one member- you only have to kiss two more members. Their memories will still be reset.  
>Have fun.<strong>

The page went blank and Shilo and I exchanged looks.  
>"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK?" She screamed.<br>"THEY'RE PSYCHOTIC LUNATICS! OF COURSE WE'RE GONNA DIE!" She cried.  
>I however, only grinned at the thought.<br>"I will meet Itachi. ITACHI! OH MY GOD!" I squeed.  
>Shilo turned to me with a blank expression before smirking back at me.<br>"Oh my god! Deidara will be there- and Sasori and- and… AHHH!" She screamed with me.  
>"Alright, use your Byakugan 'Hinata'" Shilo ordered, standing up and pointing at me.<br>I frowned, and decided to try the one hand sign and thinking of the gross veins popping out of my face. (Yuck.)  
>It worked apparently, because Shilo looked disgusted, and everything was inverted black and white.<br>I looked around, as if I was using binoculars whilst zooming in.  
>"There." I said, pointing to our left.<br>Shilo smirked.  
>"Brilliant, let's see if we can jump through trees." She sung excitedly.<p>

I collapsed on the floor in tears.  
>"OH MY GOD! THAT WAS SO FUNNY!" I cried, holding my stomach.<br>Shilo had sent 'chakra' to her feet and jumped onto the tree branch, however, as soon as she tried to jump to the next one she slammed face first into a branch.  
>Shilo scowled, rubbing her nose.<br>"You do it then!" She shouted.  
>I stoop up, chuckling. I tried to send 'Chakra to my feet', and then jumped pushing off the ground hard, landing on the tree branch.<br>Instead of moving straight forward, I jumped down onto the next tree's lower branches.  
>Shilo rolled her eyes and followed me silently.<br>Pretty soon we were right across from the enterance, and I was frankly surprised that we weren't met by doubles or something.  
>There was a large lake-thing in front of us.<br>"Um… Do we do the same thing we did with the trees? Send chakra to our feet?" I asked her.  
>She shook her head.<br>"Not quite. You need to send it to the bottom of your shoes, so that you're like walking on IT not the water." She said.  
>"You first." I said immediately.<br>She opened her mouth to talk back.  
>But decided better of it, and took a weary step on the surface.<br>It worked apparently, because next thing I knew she was skipping around screaming- 'I'M JESUS!'  
>I then attempted, and failed as I fell into the ice-cold water.<br>I grabbed onto the rock frantically.  
>"'MFREEZING!" I screamed, hearing loud male laugher.<br>Wait- male?  
>"Shilo stop laughing like that! It's weird." I bellowed, pulling myself out of the water and on to the rock.<br>"H-Hinata… That's not me." Shilo stammered, I looked up to find her wide eyed and staring at the enterance.  
>I turned to see, if I was not mistaken, Kisame. KISAME.<br>My jaw dropped.  
>"IDUNWANNADIE!" I screamed, crawling back.<br>"We ARE dead Erin!" Shilo snapped.  
>"Are you two even ninja?" Kisame laughed, clearly amused.<br>"No." (Me.)  
>"Yes." (Shilo.)<br>Shilo and I said simultaneously.  
>"I mean- Yes." I corrected, blushing.<br>"W-we are here because…" I searched my mind for some words. ANYTHING.  
>"She wants to confess her love for you." Shilo finished, pointing accusingly at me.<br>ANYTHING BUT THAT!  
>I went bright red, and Shilo's lip twitched in amusement.<br>"What?" Kisame blinked, staring blankly at me.  
>"U-um… I-" Damn, I really AM Hinata aren't I. This was so freaking embarrassing. Hold on- If one of us gets killed we start again and their memories get reset.<br>I could kill Shilo.  
>I turned to her, and she grinned at me.<br>However, I could kill myself.  
>OR- I could use this to my advantage.<br>"Y-yes…" I muttered, twiddling my fingers like Hinata does.  
>All colour left Shilo's- or should I say Ino's face.<br>Bet she didn't expect me to go along with it. HA.  
>"I don't know you kid." Kisame frowned.<br>"O-oh… I'm sorry… I just- I'm sorry…" I blushed.  
>"She says that you're appealing to her. I'm pretty sure she's stalking you." Shilo pressed.<br>She's trying to make me angry isn't she?  
>"Okay, are you kidding?" Kisame growled angrily.<br>Don't play with a man's feelings. It's the worst thing you can do.  
>He'd kill us… But hell- I need a kiss, right? It's better than Konan or something.<br>"S-she's telling the truth… Ever since you and I-Itachi-san went to the hidden leaf and fought Kurenai-sensei, Asuma-sensei, Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei…  
>I-I just… I'm sorry…" I turned my head to the side, blushing madly.<br>Of course it was an act.  
>I wanted ITACHI not this stupid shark man.<br>'Ino' seemed slightly surprised.  
>"Look, feel free to turn her down. She's already severely depressed from her father disowning her. Her cousin tried to kill her, and she fled the village.<br>I went with her, because I- I'm sick of everyone putting me down because-" She cut herself off.  
>"She suffers from a mental illness. It's called 'I'm gonna tell everybody Hinata's secrets disease.'" I finished for her, glaring.<br>She snickered.  
>Kisame shook his head.<br>"I'm flattered. Now I'll have to kill you." He grinned, pulling Samehada off his back and walking towards Shilo.  
>"WAIT! I'M DEIDARA-NII-SAN'S HALF SISTER!" She cried, her eyes wide.<br>"I don't care." He chuckled.  
>"A-AND WE HAVE INFORMATION FOR YOUR LEADER ON THE 1-TAILS AND THE 9-TAILS." I stammered.<br>"We only need one of you for that." He stated, getting irritated.  
>"YOU'RE AN ANIME CHARACTER FROM THE SHOW NARUTO AND NARUTO SHIPPUDEN- THE MANGA WAS WRITTEN BY MASASHI KISHIMOTO, AND THE REASON WHY ERIN COULDN'T WALK ON WATER IS BECAUSE WE'RE FROM ANOTHER WORLD. I CAN PROVE IT!" Shilo shouted.<br>Kisame paused at this. He blinked at her.  
>"What?" He asked.<br>"It's true! We got here after the train to school blew up and killed us. We can tell you anything you want to know about the plot so far." I said.  
>"What a dumb story." He sighed.<br>"Take them to leader." A familiar voice called.  
>"Crispin Freeman?" Shilo called, looking around.<br>"Oh, it's Itachi." She frowned slightly disappointed.  
>Me, however? I jumped to my feet, and my eyes sparkled.<br>"FANGIRLSENSESARETINGLING!" I shouted.  
>"I DUN WANT YOU TO DIE!" I cried.<br>Shilo sent me a warning glance, barely controlling herself.  
>Itachi didn't even lift an eyebrow.<br>"How do I die then?" He asked in a SEXY monotone.  
>"Sasuk-" Shilo was about to say, but I cut her off.<br>"That name is taboo around me, remember. I'm still pissed off at him!" I snapped.  
>She winced.<br>"You get killed." Shilo said, changing her wording.  
>"And me?" Kisame couldn't help but ask.<br>"You too. But you last longer than Itachi. You fight the eight tails, Killer-Bee and loose. Then a ninja war breaks out." I said.  
>A weird hologram appeared between all of us.<br>It was what appeared to be a teenage girl around 17 wearing a black hoodie and skinny jeans.  
>"Spoilers are against the rules." She frowned, flicking her brown hair out of her face.<br>"I'm putting you two in another Anime whenever you break a rule. Maybe you'll learn some survival skills." She said, with a smirk.  
>She then turned to Itachi and Kisame, who were wide eyed.<br>"It's true however. Itachi, I totally love you by the way, Kisame… Uhm… You're pretty cool." She grinned.  
>Shilo and I exchanged looks and stormed up to her.<br>"YOU! YOU PUT US HERE DIDN'T YOU?" Shilo accused, infuriated.  
>"WE DIED BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID WEBSITE!" I added.<br>She gave us a smug look.  
>"Now, now girls. You would have died anyway. That train was gonna blow up either way. That website only reveals itself to people with less than 24 hours left to live." She explained.<br>"You're like a shinigami aren't you?" Shilo realised, stepping back.  
>The girl nodded.<br>"Yeah, I was an anime fanatic, I totally wanted to be in death note and be a shinigami. Unfortunately, I found the website and it happened.  
>So now I'm one of the shinigami for all Anime fans that are gonna die.<br>You two wanted to be Naruto characters badly. You're lucky you have each other- I had to complete everything by myself." She looked slightly upset.  
>"I was in Naruto after revealing Light was Kira. It was so funny, I had to do a similar challenge, and get a hug from Gaara before the chuunin exams. Got killed fifteen times, until eventually I just got Kankuro to use his chakra strings on the poor guy. And I was SAKURA. There is nothing worse than being Sakura. Hell I would rather be Sasuke!" She laughed.<br>I giggled at this, even though she mentioned the chicken-head.  
>"Oh god, that must have sucked." I laughed.<br>"I do not ship that pairing. I do not ship any Sakura pairing except possibly SakuSasu." Shilo said in monotone.  
>"Especially not GAASAKU. That's enough to make me nauseous." She admitted.<br>"Can't be worse than DeiSaku, right?" The Shinigami laughed.  
>Shilo made a gagging gesture.<br>"Ew, my desktop screensaver was him pushing her off a cliff, no joke!" Shilo said.  
>"Oh yeah- the chibi one? I remember that! I favourited it on Deviantart!" The Shinigami laughed.<br>"Alright, you guys are gonna learn survival skills, so the Anime I'm gonna put you in is…" She started to say.  
>Shilo and I exchanged worried glances.<br>"High school of the dead." She decided.  
>"High school of the dead?" I asked, confused.<br>Shilo was wide eyed.  
>"I showed you the first episode. Remember? The panty shots, the zombies and the girls with excessively large breasts?" She reminded me.<br>"Oh, crud." I groaned.  
>"Survive one day in that zombie apocalypse, and you two will be right back to the beginning of this challenge.<br>"Are we gonna be characters or…" I trailed off as The shinigami shook her head.  
>"No, you two will be in a separate high school when it happens. Trust me, I had to go through it for a month. It was horrible." She frowned.<br>"But, it toughened me up." She added.  
>As if on cue, Kisame swung Samehada at her.<br>She jumped and landed on the massive sword, jumping up again and flipping back onto the water before the teeth could bare and cut her.  
>Kisame frowned at her.<br>"I don't know what-" She rolled her eyes and cut him off.  
>"Shut up." She snapped.<br>"Alrighty girls, you ready?" she asked.  
>I stood there nervously.<br>Shilo nodded with a determined look on her face.  
>I sighed and shook my head.<br>"Whatever." I gave in.


	4. High school of the thriller dance

**Shilo-**

I only blinked, and suddenly I was standing in front of a pack of the undead with a metal pole in my hand.  
>Erin was next to me, eyes wide with a bat.<br>I raised a finger to my lips, and she nodded.  
>We still looked like Ino and Hinata, except we were in navy-blue skirts and the typical anime school-girl shirt.<br>I searched for an opening, as the zombies were closing in on us.  
>"Alright, we need to bash their heads in." I whispered.<br>She only nodded, looking terrified.  
>I drew back the pole and swung it at the side of one's head.<br>There were only about five.  
>It fell to the ground, blood splattering over my clothes.<br>Erin gulped and ran forward, closing her eyes and swinging at whatever.  
>A zombie head butted her back into the wall, and Erin screamed, absolutely terrified.<br>I turned around and stabbed the end of my pole through its temple.  
>I was totally shaking. I mean- who wouldn't be?<br>I pulled it out violently and slammed the pole over the last one's head.  
>Erin was on her knees staring at the blood on her hands.<br>I offered her a hand, and she turned to me, feebly.  
>"Come on, just one day! Shinigami had to survive a month. Think of it as… Training." I said, with a weak smile.<br>"Come on, we'll go find some safe area and crash there. Hopefully we can last until the time is up." I suggested, as she took my hand looking close to tears.  
>We were outside the actual school, so we didn't need to worry about finding our way through it.<br>We walked slowly and soundlessly among the zombies.  
>Not a single word.<br>I tightened my grip on the pole, ignoring the screams of other people.  
>Just concentrating on not being noticed.<br>I glanced back at Erin. She looked better than before, with a determined look across her face.  
>"HELP! HELP ME PLEASE!" A man called, running over to us.<br>Great, now the zombies were coming after US.  
>"Shut it, you moron!" Erin hissed irritably.<br>The guy was in a martial arts outfit, and had a real katana in his hands.  
>He appeared to have been bitten on his ankle.<br>We couldn't take him with us.  
>I couldn't believe what I was about to do.<br>I hit his arm hard with my pole, and he screamed in agony.  
>It was probably broken.<br>I snatched the Katana from him, and grabbed Erin's hand, running as the zombies crowded the man and ate him.

**Erin-**  
>I felt like crying. Screaming, whatever. But right now, I had to stay strong.<br>This meant we had to do whatever we could to stay alive.  
>I kept a game face on, as I followed Shilo through the streets.<br>The shaking had definitely stopped, because I could walk properly.  
>I can't really believe I nearly got myself eaten alive by zombies within three minutes!<br>Shilo paused as a man ran towards us, with a slight limp.  
>He seemed to have been bitten on his ankle.<br>He wore a martial arts outfit, and had a black belt. However, hand to hand combat was pointless.  
>In his hand was a real katana.<br>"HELP! HELP ME PLEASE!" He bawled.  
>The zombies all started to walk towards us.<br>"Shut it you moron!" I thought out loud.  
>I glanced at Shilo. What would she do?<br>She was looking down almost painfully as she clenched the pole she was holding.  
>I gulped, having an idea of what she was going to do.<br>She swung the pole at the guy's arm, breaking it.  
>The guy howled, and Shilo snatched the katana as it dropped.<br>She grabbed my hand and we ran away.  
>I couldn't watch. I knew the guy was a goner from his screams.<br>Sorry man.  
>All the zombies in the area appeared to be preoccupied with loud victims, screaming for help and crying.<br>We slowed down our pace and walked slowly again.  
>"Where are we going?" I whispered.<br>She let out an aggravated sigh and bit her lip.  
>Looks like she didn't know.<br>"We need… Weapons." I said, voicing my damn opinion for her.  
>"Yeah, It looks like we aren't gonna get very far with these weapons. This pole is really noisy." She frowned.<br>"We need something that we can use at point-blank range." I decided.  
>"Hand pistols and pocket-knives." She said with a nod.<br>"Where are we gonna get them?" Shilo asked.  
>I thought for a moment.<br>"Let's go visit some police shall we?" I grinned, wiping some blood off my face.

We had been in the apocalypse for around 80 minutes now.  
>We finally found a police station, and it was zombie infested!<br>There were people dying left and right, wherever whenever.  
>Shilo and I were crouched down across the street behind a police car.<br>"How're we gonna get in? Any ideas?" I asked her.  
>She looked around, frowning. She was silent for about ten minutes, and then slowly moved towards the car's engine.<br>From what I could see, she was messing around with it, pulling things out, twisting some things, and then- she closed the car front, her hands black and covered in oil- and opened the door, grimacing at the corpse of an officer who had killed himself with his last bullet.  
>His body was stiff apparently, because after she turned the key and pulled down the hand break- she stomped down on his leg, accelerating the car.<br>It drove about twenty metres away before exploding with a VERY loud boom.  
>The zombies immediately started swarming up around the explosion.<br>The police office was now 70% less zombie infested.  
>"That… was awesome." I admitted. She gave me a sheepish grin, and we held up our weapons, walking into the building slowly.<br>We managed to sneak through the undead freaks to the weapon room. Did you know there was a whole room full of weapons in this police station?  
>No? It was new to me too.<br>We had a look around and found a rack with pistols on it.  
>There was also a bunch of pocket knives and other stuff confiscated from criminals on another shelf.<br>Some safety helmets and goggles etc…  
>"We're stocking up." Shilo announced, grabbing a weapon belt out of somewhere.<br>She put three pistols on it, a sash of bullets around her neck, quite a lot of pocket knives in the belt and two… Nun-chucks?  
>Did she even know how to use those?<br>I rolled my eyes and without a word, stocked up myself.  
>Shilo then found a box labelled 'grenades.'<br>Really?  
>What type of police station has grenades?<br>They should call this the 'supplies for dead teenage girls attempting to survive 48 hours in a zombie apocalypse room.'  
>I swear Shilo's eyes lit up, and she started stashing the grenades in the empty compartments of her belt.<br>I turned around to find a member of 'Zombies international' staggering towards the room, with some of his friends not far behind.  
>"Shilo…" I called.<br>"One sec." She called dismissively.  
>"Shilo, we need to go!" I urged, backing up.<br>"I said in a second, sheesh!" She growled, turning around.  
>Then spotted the mindless idiots.<br>"Oh, whoops. Come on, let's grab a police bike." She laughed.  
>She seriously looked like she was enjoying this.<br>She stuck on some safety glasses and threw a pair at me, which I put on.  
>"Get ready for the boom." She shouted, biting off the trigger thingo for the grenade, and throwing it at the zombies.<br>I blocked my ears, and watched in amazement as they all went bye-bye, arms and legs flying everywhere.  
>Shilo cheered in excitement as she dragged me out of the room.<br>We ran through the smoke holding our breathes.  
>We got outside a minute or so later.<br>A guy was attempting to start up a police bike.  
>Cha-ching! Jackpot!<br>I held up the pistol, pulling down the safety and shooting him with perfect aim through the temple.  
>He fell of the bike soundlessly, as Shilo and I hopped on.<br>I was driving apparently.  
>Even though I had no idea how to drive ANYTHING but bumper cars.<br>I turned the key with a grimace and revved the engine.  
>I played around with it for a few seconds before getting the hang of it.<br>"Alright, I think I can do this!" I said confidently.  
>"You better be able to do this!" Shilo bit back, holding on to me.<br>"Here we GO!" I bellowed, and the damn vehicle roared louder than it did before as we drove onto the street, right past zombies and dying people.  
>Aah, the fun.<p>

I had to admit- the breeze was refreshing, as we drove carelessly through civilized people in cars- also trying to get away.  
>It was like playing dodge ball! Except I was somewhat GOOD at playing.<br>Police officers shot at us for not crossing the bridge properly. I sped up purposely, as Shilo laughed.  
>We were about to hit an officer. And did I even care?<br>No. No I did not.  
>I went even faster, and the guy toppled to the side to get out of my way.<br>We were still getting shot at, and I must say that those damn officers had NO aim.  
>Finally I got us off the damn bridge, and onto a suspiciously empty highway.<br>But that could be due to the fact that the police were only letting two or three cars past every ten minutes.  
>Talk about a traffic jam.<br>The fuel was nearly out by midnight, when we got to the next town.  
>I was starving like heck, and apparently Shilo was too.<br>This place actually wasn't zombie infested… Yet…  
>We walked into the petrol station bloody and scary looking- Okay, not THAT scary looking, but pretty damn scary for starving, dead teenage girls in high school uniforms, covered in blood whilst carrying lethal weapons.<br>The teenager at the counter looked like he was shitting himself. He raised his arms and backed off.  
>"T-take anything! Please don't hurt me!" He stammered.<br>Shilo rolled her eyes.  
>"Calm down, we're just refuelling on petrol and buying ourselves some food." I laughed nervously.<br>He eyed us suspiciously, still terrified.  
>"Look, ditch this place, grab some weapons and leave! There's a zombie apocalypse going on right now. Chances are your family is a goner." Shilo said, right to the point, brushing a hand through 'her' blonde side fringe.<br>I was still trying to get used to this whole 'looking like Ino and Hinata' business.  
>Seriously, it's been bugging me for a while. I mean, I have white eyes! WHITE DAMNIT! And neither of us have pupils! What the heck is UP with that?<br>I started grabbing packets of different things, and different drinks.  
>Shilo gave the guy a ton of money that she got from GOD knows where, and went outside to refill.<br>"There isn't really… A zombie apocalypse is there?" The teenager asked nervously, scanning the pile of stuff I put on the counter.  
>I nodded casually, and peered over at a large backpack the guy had with him.<br>"Can I have that bag?" I asked him.  
>His eyes widened, as I purposely moved my hand towards a pistol to scare him.<br>"Sure! Take it!" He said a little too quickly, pouring everything out of it, and putting all of our food in there.  
>I flung it over my shoulder and waved dismissively, walking out of the place.<br>Shilo was leaning against the bike impatiently.  
>She was eyeing down a swarm of zombies that were stumbling around.<br>There was at least thirty.  
>"She beckoned me over with her finger seriously, and I slowly stepped through them, as the zombies smashed and tripped their way into the station.<br>I got on the bike, as did Shilo, who was looking at me- with a strange gleam in her eye.  
>I rolled my eyes, and looked down guiltily as I heard the boy screaming for help.<br>"Yeah, whatever- just hurry up so we can get out of here." I whispered, and she grinned somewhat evilly.  
>Out with the grenade, and she had the place blowing up in no time.<br>I got us onto 160 Km/h and glanced back at the huge explosion.  
>It was extremely affective because of the petrol. I guess Shilo predicted this beforehand. That's why she was so excited.<br>After about half an hour, we pulled up at some bathrooms and sat down and ate some food.  
>"So, are we just gonna keep driving until we reach the deadline?" Shilo asked me, her mouth full of bread.<br>I nodded.  
>"That's sort of what I was planning, however- I want to stop at the holiday houses around. I doubt there will be more than six zombies there at most, and we can just shoot them down. We need some sleep. I don't think I can drive that much longer." I admitted sheepishly.<br>Shilo shrugged.  
>"Alright, I think we should also try and work out how the hell we're gonna get a smooch from Akatsuki members." She said, re-tying her long blonde pony-tail.<br>"Truce on that," I said, after glugging down a heap of Pepsi.  
>"You always seem to come up with something. You tell me." I sighed, leaning back on the grass.<br>"No idea, It would seem like cheating wouldn't it? Kissing three guys each." She muttered.  
>"GETTING kissed by three guys each." I corrected, tucking a loose strand of indigo hair behind my ear.<br>"Sheesh, surviving one day in a zombie apocalypse is easy compared to that." Shilo muttered, packing our leftovers in the bag, and standing up.  
>"However, we have an advantage right?" She said, with a blush.<br>I looked at her raising my eyebrows.  
>"I memorised all of their Narutopiedia pages back to front." She laughed embarrassedly.<br>I nearly face palmed.  
>That's JUST like her. Of COURSE she did that. She could probably say it word for word with her hand on her heart as if saying a pledge.<br>I rolled my eyes but grinned.  
>I guess I'm kind of thankful.<br>If it wasn't for her, I would have been zombie-chow.  
>I stood up and Shilo slipped the bag onto her back.<br>"Come on, let's go- I'm tired." I chuckled, hopping onto the bike.

As I suspected, the holiday place was deserted.  
>Mainly because school was in, but probably because we were far away from all the ruckus.<br>We kicked down someone's door after a few attempts, and went in.  
>"Alright, you take first watch. Wake me up in four hours." I shouted, running into the lounge room and crashing on the couch.<br>"Whatever." Shilo muttered, walking into the kitchen to make a coffee.

**Shilo-  
><strong>We finally managed to stop in a holiday house for a rest.  
>I had to admit, I was WAY too pumped with adrenaline to sleep at the moment. So I guess it makes sense that I take first watch.<br>I sat down in front of a small heater sipping my coffee.  
>I turned on the TV to see news about the zombie apocalypse and blah, blah, blah.<br>I flipped the channels furiously. Still nothing but warnings and reports.  
>"Doesn't this damn TV have a DVD player or something?" I hissed irritably, turning the darn thing off.<br>I checked out the window and shrugged. The place was still deserted, no harm in having a shower.

It was refreshing, walking into a wardrobe and finding clothes.  
>Especially when you fitted them.<br>I tied up my now- long platinum blonde hair up in a long ponytail.  
>I casually chucked myself one last glance in the mirror. I was wearing a black turtleneck with long sleeves under a navy zip-up vest.<br>I had borrowed some generous person's black soccer shorts, and chucked the high-school skirt over the top of them.  
>I kept the same shoes on, because they were oh so comfortable.<br>I walked into the lounge room, to see Erin kicking in her sleep.  
>This is why I sleep on the floor during sleepovers. That girl shows NO mercy.<br>I sighed.  
>I guess I'll make another coffee.<br>One more hour till I get to sleep and I'm not even tired.  
>So, the TV was still being SO original when I turned it back on.<br>After half an hour of playing with the brightness settings on the darn thing, I decided to just watch the news.  
>Turns out some teenagers got shot for trying to cross the bridge by foot.<br>What idiots. They really thought they would get mercy in a zombie apocalypse?  
>Just steal a bike, like we did.<br>Fifteen minutes left till I wake Erin up. Pfft, who's counting?  
>I stood up and shook her violently.<br>Her hand shot up and out of reflex, she nearly wacked me in the stomach.  
>Luckily, for some reason, I blocked it before she could make contact.<br>She sat up rubbing her eyes.  
>"I feel so much better." I barely heard her mutter.<br>Suddenly- she jumped up and stared at me.  
>"Why the heck did you goof off and get all clean?" Erin shouted accusingly.<br>I shrugged.  
>"I woke you up 15 minutes early so you could do the same, <em>Hinata<em>." I snickered, emphasizing the 'Hinata.'  
>"Fine. You can't sleep until I'm out." She said decisively.<br>"I have to finish off my coffee anyway." I yawned.  
>I heard the shower running, and realised the coffee was going to keep me up for at least another half hour.<br>I groaned, getting up to wash out my mug.  
>I put on some toast, and searched the fridge for butter or margarine.<br>Not for me of course- but for Erin.  
>She eats as soon as she gets up.<br>I usually skip breakfast.  
>There was only the disgusting little traveller ones, wrapped in tin foil.<br>I cringed and decided to just grill some cheese on the bread for her.  
>Eight minutes later her food was almost ready, and I found myself drinking yet- ANOTHER coffee.<br>Damn, instant coffee IS addictive.  
>I heard a loud scream from down the street.<br>I looked out the window to find a pack of at least 13 zombies, roaming around and casually making their way towards the cabin.  
>"ERIN, GET OUT HERE NOW!" I shouted, grabbing the back pack.<p>

**Erin-  
><strong>It was just past Ten to six in the morning when I got out of the shower.  
>I could smell melted cheese and coffee from the bedroom, as I slipped a loose black top on.<br>I brushed through mine- or Hinata's hair in front of the full body mirror.  
>"Oh yeah, Looking good for some cannibalistic dead people." I said with a snort.<br>I shrugged on a pale blue jacket to go over my black shirt, and school skirt.  
>I paused as I barely heard a scream.<br>I waited a few seconds before running over to the window to check things out.  
>There in pure daylight was a pack of zombies, hungry for flesh and heading our way.<br>"ERIN, GET OUT HERE NOW!" I heard Shilo call.  
>I groaned.<br>No melted cheese on toast for me today.  
>I ran down the hallway hurriedly, only to have my weapon belt shoved in my face.<br>"Let's go." Shilo called, throwing me my baseball bat and reaching to pick up her Katana.  
>Before she had a chance, a zombie stumbled in and leaped at her.<br>It was like a half-glomp, seriously.  
>This was a problem.<br>I couldn't shoot because I might hit Shilo as well. This means we'd have to start from the beginning, which would not be fun.  
>Same goes for the bat. Pocket knives? Nope, this guy is just too affectionate.<br>Shilo was cussing every swearword invented, and possibly some new ones too as she pushed the zombie away by the forehead to stop it from biting her.  
>It was biting thin air at the moment, but in a few second it was probably gonna be Shilo.<br>All I could do was try to prevent a swarm from waltzing in.  
>I pulled out a pistol and started shooting at whoever may come through that –no longer existing because we kicked it down- door.<br>I glanced at Shilo, who had somehow managed to punch the zombie in the stomach and stab his forehead with a pocketknife.  
>She picked up her katana and, wiped the blood on her hands onto her skirt with a disgusted face.<br>We exchanged looks, and she nodded as I quickly reloaded the pistol and stashed it into my belt.  
>I flung the baseball bat over my shoulder, and I went first- running through the crowd of morons, hitting the occasional one over the head- just for fun.<br>We got onto the police bike as quick as we could and drove off just as Shilo threw yet another grenade.  
>God knows how many she had stashed up.<br>God knows how she fit them all into that belt.

The zombies were pretty much everywhere, and I struggled to swerve around them all.  
>Eventually we got past them and drove for another 2 hours or so.<br>We stopped up at a small picnic area to eat some food.  
>I have to admit, Shilo looked like shit. Seriously, I could tell she was struggling to keep her eyes open.<br>That and she was DAYYUUMM ugly. Kidding! KIDDING!  
>I was about to offer that she sleep for a while, but some annoying zombies were doing the thriller towards us again.<br>I rolled my eyes and got up, shoving stuff into the backpack.  
>"Come on, we need to re-fuel." I sighed, handing it to her.<br>She jumped back to life with a gasp.  
>"Sorry? What?" She asked, looking around.<br>"We're getting out of here, before stupid, stupider and stupidest eat us." I said, jumping onto the bike again.  
>She groaned and hopped on too.<p>

When we got to the next station, it was completely empty.  
>This place just gets weirder.<br>I filled the bike up, and looked up at Shilo.  
>"Do yourself a favour and get an energy drink." I sighed, pulling her off the bike.<br>She nodded briefly and walked like a zombie (HAHAHAAHAHA) into the empty station.  
>A minute later, she ran out, jumping on the bike.<br>"GO! GO! GO!" She screamed ecstatically, throwing a grenade as a zombie stumbled out of the store.  
>What can I say? I freaked out! I drove away as fast as possible (180 kmh)  
>and tried to ignore the psychotic laughter coming from my pyro friend.<br>"OH MY GOD! THAT STUFF REALLY WORKS!" She shouted over the wind.  
>"YEAH, IT DOES. I CAN TELL." I yelled back.<br>Give us another hour and we'd be right back to Naruto.  
>GOD I missed Itachi. <p>

So we had about a minute until the limit.  
>"Hey Shilo, how long now?" I asked.<br>"30 seconds!" She called happily.  
>I revved my engine.<br>Yeah, we were driving up a ramp to the top of a cliff overhanging the ocean.  
>Don't ask why. We just felt like it.<br>"Alright 15 seconds!" She called.  
>I grinned madly.<br>Shilo turned around suddenly and shot some random police officer.  
>"Um… Shilo?" I asked.<br>"10… 9… 8…" She counted, ignoring the fact that she just SHOT an innocent person for no reason.  
>God, how stupid could you get?<br>At least I'm somewhat smart.  
>"Okay! 5 seconds let's bike off this cliff!" I shouted, driving forward.<br>5  
>4<br>3  
>We shot off the side of the mountain, and then-<p>

-  
>OOOOOHHH CLIFFHANGER!<br>(GET IT? HAHAHAHAAHAH!)

God I'm so lame.


	5. Enter: Hilly the perverted Shinigami

**Shilo-  
><strong>  
>I woke up to a very pleasant kick in the face.<p>

"Oi WAKE UP." Yelled a male voice I did not recognise.  
>I grumpily grabbed his ankle and hugged it to my chest.<br>"I dun wanna eat the marshmellow…" Then casually proceeded to chew on his ankle.  
>He seemingly freaked out, and kicked me a few meters away.<br>NOW I was awake.  
>"What? Who are you?" I asked, blinking several times.<br>He did NOT look like an Akatsuki member.  
>"I'm Hilly, Emily's friend." He said blandly.<br>"Ehm, who's Emily?" I asked.  
>"Shinigami? HELLO!" He cried, as I observed him suspiciously.<br>He had… a bright PURPLE MOHAWK. Yeah. A Mohawk.  
>Something clicked in my deceased brain, and I remembered.<br>"OH! Why are you here? WHERE'S ERIN?"  
>"Dead."<br>"WHAT?"  
>"I'm kidding, she's in the tree." He laughed, pointing up to a HIGH branch.<br>I didn't see anything.  
>"I don't see her." I frowned.<br>"Yeah, she's hiding." He smirked.  
>"You're in a bunny-girl cosplay you realise…" He informed me eyeing me down.<br>I casually looked at my own attire to see I was in fact in quite a revealing purple bunny cosplay.  
>I then slyly looked at his hair, and grinned.<br>"WE MATCH!" I shouted, pointing at his Mohawk.  
>He blinked.<br>"Sh-Shilo, is that you, Is the Pervert gone yet?" Came the shy voice of Hinata. Well in this case, Erin.  
>"Yes Erin." I lied. So she WAS in the tree.<br>I waited a few seconds and then, she just fell down.  
>Into HIS arms.<br>-Insert his perverted smile.-  
>""<br>Dayum. I don't know why she hid! She be lookin' fiiiiiyyyannnnee!  
>Seriously- CRAP Hinata had a good body.<br>I eyed her with envy.  
>She was in a more revealing outfit than ME!<br>She was in a Sky blue bunny cosplay, which I could barely see because the 'pervert.'  
>Was holding her close and squeeing like a fan boy.<br>I grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of his grip.  
>"HOW DARE YOU!" I shouted.<br>She looked at me confused.  
>"What?" She asked, probably wondering why I was angry.<br>"WHY DO YOU LOOK BETTER THAN ME? HUH! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!" I cried.  
>"Shouldn't you be wondering why we're in these outfits in the FIRST place?" She shouted back.<br>I shook my head.  
>"GO GET A BREAST REDUCTION. NOW." I shouted.<br>"Girls, girls- no need to fight over me. Shilo, yours are fine too." Hilly cut in.  
>Erin turned to him furiously, and hit him.<br>"PERVERT! WE AREN'T FIGHTING OVER YOU!" She screamed.  
>"Damn right mine are bigger." I nodded approvingly.<br>"Hey- I never said that." Hilly said seriously, giving Erin a wink.  
>I kicked his head.<br>"PERVERT!" I accused.  
>"Anyway, Emily, your shinigami, is away on other business. So I am your new guide! ISN'T THAT GREAT?" He exclaimed happily. Mostly at Erin.<br>"Okay… But WHY ARE WE IN BUNNY COSPLAY?" Erin snapped at him.  
>"Aww don't be like that cutie." He pouted.<br>I glared daggers.  
>SHEESH, I'm A LOT sexier than HER!<br>"Anyway, so since you broke one of the rules, not only do you have to survive in a different Anime; But the Shinigami gets to choose a different punishment when you get back." He laughed.  
>"So, there is NO reason for us being in these outfits?" Erin asked, with a disgusted face.<br>"You should feel lucky! It could be worse." He grinned.  
>"You're dead to me." Erin glared.<br>"You're still alive to me!" I said attempting to act sexy and pulling my hair out.  
>He ignored me completely.<br>My right eye twitched, and Erin snickered.  
>"So, how are we gonna get in the base with bunny costumes on?" I smirked, wrapping my arms around his neck, and whispering in his ear.<br>He pulled me off with ease and gave me an irritated look.  
>I frowned, folding my arms stubbornly and turning away.<br>"So, how are we gonna get into the base with bunny costumes on?" Erin repeated for me.  
>He replied to her IMMEADIATELY.<br>"You'll manage, TRUST me." He said, licking his lips.  
>She backed away, grossed half to death, and pulled me off the ground.<br>"THANKS HILLY-KUN!" I cried as we hurriedly walked away.  
>He ignored me yet again and waved ecstatically at Erin.<br>"SEE YOU SOON EEEEEEEEEEEEERIN-CHANNN~" He sung loudly.  
>The fucking bastard.<p>

So there we stood.  
>In front of the Akatsuki base.<br>Again.  
>Erin still couldn't use chakra to get across.<br>And this is where my evil plan came in.  
>I shoved her forwards and she landed in the water, kicking and screaming.<br>"Why don't you just like, pull a boat out of your cleavage? It's BIG enough!" I shouted angrily.  
>Her head popped out of the water and she glared at me.<br>"Alright, you've been making comments on my boobs since we woke up! What the hell is your problem! You have your own!" She shrieked.  
>I glowered at her darkly.<br>"Not when I'm next to YOU!" I spat back, putting my hands on my hips.  
>Erin hauled herself out of the water, dripping wet and eighty times sexier than before.<br>"DAMN IT TO HELL!" I screamed, picking up a sharp rock.  
>She stared at me wide eyed, standing up looking cold as hell.<br>"I'M TAKING THEM!" I shouted, and bolted at her.  
>She screamed, and ran for her life boobs.<br>I chased her to the side of the base and she backed away, I had her totally cornered.  
>"Stop being such a jealous bitch Shilo! Just because you HAVE no figure!" She shouted at me.<br>I stepped back a bit, and then charged, so pissed off I couldn't even think.  
>I leapt into the air and swung a huge kick at her.<br>She ducked narrowly, and I collided with her as we smashed through the wall.  
>I got back up pretty quickly, and roped my hands around her neck.<br>"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, THEN BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE, THEN FEED YOUR CORPSE TO ZOMBIES WHO WILL NOT FIND YOU- IN ANY WHICH WAY- ATTRACTIVE. THEN I WILL CUT OFF YOUR BOOBS, AND SELL THEM ON THE BLACK MARKET. THEN ONCE THEY ARE SOLD, I'L KILL THE BUYER AND USE THE MONEY TO OPEN MY OWN BROTHEL WHICH I WILL HAVE YOUR FUCKING HUGE BOOBS ON DISPLAY!  
>HELL, I'LL USE IT AS A SAFE AND STORE ALL THE MONEY IN THEM! IT'LL FIT. TRUST ME." I shouted, while she struggled underneath me.<br>Then suddenly, I was pulled off Erin and dragged to the other side of the room in an arm lock.  
>Erin also had the same thing happen, but I was too angry to see who did it.<br>"LET GO OF ME AND I'LL SHARE THE MONEY WITH YOU!" I screamed.  
>"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF THIS IS HILLY- I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU PERVERT!" Erin screamed.<br>I calmed down a little and got a better look at my surroundings.  
>Yeah. I just made that threat… In front of the WHOLE Akatsuki. GOD I'm going to kill Erin!<br>Who I assumed was Konan, turned to who I assumed was Pein slowly.  
>"Why are there two strange girls in bunny cosplay in our meeting room?" She asked slowly.<br>Okay, I couldn't help myself.  
>"BECAUSE IT ISN'T FAIR THAT SHE GETS HUGE TITS! FREAKING HELL, DOES SHE EAT SUPERMODELS FOR BREAKFAST?" I screamed accusingly.<br>"WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIEND TRIES TO STRANGLE ME!" Erin shouted back.  
>"I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL OF THE DEAD!" I bellowed.<br>"I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE! YOU SADISTIC, FLAT CHEST! YOU SHOT AN INNOCENT MAN BEFORE WE BIKED OFF THAT CLIFF!" Erin squealed back.  
>"YOU SHOT AN INNOCENT MAN BEFORE WE STOLE THAT BIKE!" I bit back.<br>"YOU LEFT AN INNOCENT MAN TO GET EATEN ALIVE WHEN HE WAS ASKING FOR HELP!" Erin shouted.  
>"SORRY FOR BASHING THAT ZOMBIE'S HEAD IN WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO MAKE YOU HIS BREAKFAST!" I cried.<br>"DON'T GET SO WORKED UP OVER MY BOOBS YOU PERVERT!" Erin retorted.  
>" I WILL NEVER STOP!" I shouted.<br>Then there was silence as we glared daggers at each other.  
>Then for no apparent reason- started cracking up laughing.<br>"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS!" Screamed, 'Hidan' apparently.  
>We both turned to the ENTIRE Akatsuki with blank stares.<br>"!" Erin said excitedly as she looked from Pein to Itachi.  
>"I'm reaching my limit too!" I told her, trying to stop myself from drooling.<br>"EYECANDY!" Erin pointed to Itachi.  
>"Who are you?" Pein asked calmly.<br>By this time, Erin and I had been released.  
>"Um… Playboy… Mascots?" I offered, and Erin shot me a venomous glare.<br>-Insert suspicious looks.-  
>"Um, we're… l-lost…" Erin stuttered, blushing and looking down.<br>Talk about eye candy.  
>"Can I sell them?"<br>"Can we eat them?"  
>"Can I blow them up, un?"<br>"Can I add them to my collection?" *Insert Erin's weird look here*  
>"I'm going to fucking sacrifice them to Jashin."<br>"Can I keep them?" Everyone turned to Konan.  
>She bolted over and pulled both of us into a tight bear-hug.<br>"They're SO CUTE!" She screamed, pinching our cheeks.  
>"Aren't we?" My eyes sparkled.<br>"YES! I AM KEEPING THEM!" Konan decided, turning to glare at everyone.  
>"Konan…" Pain said in a warning tone.<br>"You don't KNOW who they are." He finished.  
>Konan frowned and stormed over to him.<br>"They can't be threats. If that's what you're implying!" She huffed, placing her hands on her hips.  
>Dayum, girl's got attitude!<br>"What do you mean they can't be threats?" Pein asked her.  
>"They're BUNNIES! Or at least they're in bunny cosplay! Do you seriously think that they're ninja?" She asked, gesturing to us.<br>"They smashed through the WALL Konan. They're clearly here to try and destroy the organization!" He pointed out.  
>"In BUNNY costumes?" Konan asked, raising an eyebrow.<br>"Tobi wants to keep them!" Shouted none other than the masked boy.  
>Erin and I exchanged glances, and as I stood forward she backed away.<br>"You aren't even a MEMBER!" Zetsu's Black side shouted.  
>"How do you keep getting in here?" His white side asked.<br>I turned to Erin with a nod, and she blinked and nodded back.  
>Then she broke into tears.<br>"I-I P-p-please don't kill us!" She cried adorably, falling to her knees.  
>I resisted a snort of laughter as I turned to her sympathetically.<br>"Hinata, I know we've been through a lot today… But try and hold it! Be strong and hold your head high! That's what your cousin's last wish was!" I cried dramatically, running over to 'comfort' her.  
>Erin sobbed hopelessly, frantically trying to wipe away tears.<br>"Please?" Konan turned to Pein with puppy-dog eyes.  
>"Who's looking after them?" He sighed.<br>She smirked victoriously and turned to the Akatsuki members.  
>"She's all yours fellas. No killing, eating, injuring or SACRIFICING." Konan shouted, shooting a warning glare at Hidan.<br>"OR raping!" Erin added suddenly.  
>Everyone stared at her.<br>"N-no!" She cried, covering herself.  
>"Neji-ji-ni-ni-san-chan! Why did you have to goooo!" She sobbed.<br>I whipped up a facepalm.  
>Right there.<br>"ALRIGHT! THEY GET DEIDARA AND SASORI'S ROOM!" Konan decided.  
>"WOAH! Where do I sleep then?" Deidara shouted.<br>She snorted.  
>"Go bunk with Tobi, OUTSIDE." She yawned, skipping over to us.<br>"Oh god, we NEEDED some girls around here." She whispered, as everyone kind of left the room.  
>"Do you want a tour, or sleep? Or food?" She offered.<br>"Or a breast reduction." I muttered audaciously.  
>Erin glared at me again, and I ignored it.<p>

"So, what are you really here for?" She asked, as we sat down in 'Deidara's and Sasori's our new room.

"I don't think we can tell you much… But we came here because we need to kiss people." Erin explained.  
>"What the heck? That's creepy." I snapped.<br>She shrugged.  
>"What do you mean, exactly?" Konan asked, leaning back on a bed.<br>"Uhm… Just something we are required to do." I explained.  
>"You do realise we're S-rank, right?" She laughed.<br>"Pretty much." I sighed.  
>Konan stood up, shaking her head.<br>"Alright- whatever. I'll call you when I make some food." She sighed.  
>"You cook?" Erin asked.<br>Konan turned to her.  
>"I cook for ME. You two have dinner with the guys." She muttered.<br>Then paused.  
>"Kisame cooks." She shivered, leaving the room.<br>Erin and I exchanged looks.  
>"I GET DEIDARA'S BED!" I shouted.<p>

Erin shrugged.  
>"Which one is his?" She challenged.<br>I looked between the two beds.  
>I leant over, and took a smell of the bed I was on.<br>I had absolutely no clue.  
>"What does it smell like?" Erin asked.<br>"Lemon fresh." I replied.  
>It was that moment when I had my nose glued to the bed that Sasori and Deidara decided to enter.<br>There was an awkward silence, and weird stares.  
>Then, slowly Erin crept over to the two, and sniffed Sasori's shoulder.<br>She jumped back and grinned victoriously.  
>"YOU SMELL LIKE LEMON FRESH!" She shouted!<br>Silence.  
>"I'm going to… leave now…" Erin muttered, backing out the door, and running away.<p>

And there, I was, staring blankly up at two murderous psychotic lunatics, one of which was just accused of smelling like LEMON FRESH.  
>I smiled nervously.<br>"Hi, I'm Ino."

-  
><strong>Erin-<br>**Well, I felt kind of guilty for leaving my best friend alone in a bunny outfit, with two serial killers. Meh, life goes on.  
>I walked around for a bit and found myself opening the door to a random room.<br>I froze completely, as I was eye-to-eye with… a … pretty much naked Itachi.  
>I smiled nervously, going RED.<br>"!" I screamed, running out of the room.

I ran back to find Shilo. Oh my god.  
>**<br>So, I open the door… Only to find Ino and Deidara… Making out… On _my _bed.  
>I quickly shut the door and cursed.<br>"Crud… Now she's a kiss ahead of me!"  
>I steadily walked around the Akatsuki base as calmly as I could- well as calmly as one can when they're freaking out- and decided to try my luck opening a another random door.<br>Aren't I a smart one?

Yeah, well I walk in on Kakuzu and Hidan…  
>Arguing as Hidan got his head sewn back on.<br>"AHH SASORI SMELLS LIKE LEMON FRESH, ITACHI WEARS BOXERS, INO AND DEIDARA ARE MAKING OUT AND KAKUZU IS TENTACLE-RAPING HIDAN!"  
>I shouted, bursting out of the room.<br>I burst into the kitchen to find… Kisame making dinner.  
>My eyes bulged as I spotted the PINK apron he was wearing.<br>"OH MY GOD! SASORI SMELLS LIKE LEMON FRESH, ITACHI WEARS BOXERS, INO AND DEIDARA ARE MAKING OUT, KAKUZU IS TENTACLE-RAPING HIDAN AND KISAME IS A HOUSEWIFE THAT PLAYS WITH BARBIE-DOLLS!" I shrieked.  
>I had NO idea where I came up with the barbie-dolls, but who cares!<br>I was about to find Konan, but a hand clamped over my mouth and I tried to scream.  
>I was pulled into what looked like a bedroom.<br>I turned to see my kidnapper… Itachi Uchiha.  
>"WAHHH! YOU'RE A KIDNAPPER!" I cried.<br>"Be quiet." He spoke.  
>"Why?" I blinked at him.<br>"People don't need to know I wear boxers." He replied calmly.  
>I snickered.<br>"I'll just say you go commando."  
>His frowned.<br>"Stop this stupidity, or I will make you disappear." He threatened.  
>I only smiled.<br>"I think I would enjoy that." I giggled somewhat creepily.  
>"Stop that foolishness." He ordered.<br>"How about, a little smooch?" I dared.  
>Itachi thought for a moment.<br>"No." He said coldly.  
>I pouted and tried to look cute.<br>"I'll stop telling people you wear boxers." I offered.  
>"No. Now get out." He ordered, pushing me out of the room.<p>

I trampled my way back to mine and Shilo's room.  
>Only to find a half un-zipped bunny suit and my best friend pined to the bed under a serial killer.<br>And she seemed to be enjoying it.  
>I completely ignored their presence and flopped myself on the empty bed. Then I proceeded to groan in frustration. I had a pillow thrown at my head.<br>A very angry Hidan walked in.  
>"I WAS NOT GETTING FUCKING TENTACLE RAPED YOU FUCKING MORON I'M GOING TO FUCKING BITE YOUR HEAD OF AND THROW IT DOWN THE TOILET YOU ASS I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU A- Deidara? What the hell are you doing?"<br>Hidan got a pillow thrown in his face.  
>"AH FUCK NO!" Hidan yelled pulling Deidara off Shilo.<br>"WHAT THE HELL HIDAN?" Shilo yelled as Hidan dragged Deidara to the door.  
>"NO WAY IN HELL IS THIS LITTLE FUCKER GETTING ANY ACTION, AND BITCH I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!"<br>Shilo stood up furiously.  
>"Oh, so you want to play this game?" She hissed dangerously.<br>"What the fuck do you think you're going to do, huh?" Hidan yelled.  
>"Oh, Ino, please no!" I begged.<br>"It's too late Hinata, it's on." Ino smirked. "This is only acceptable in life or death situations, ….."  
>Shilo ran up to Hidan and kicked him…<br>In the crotch.  
>He toppled over in pain, clutching his…. Area.<br>"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He shrieked as Shilo grabbed Deidara and ran.  
>I stood up and walked over to Hidan who was rolling around in agony.<br>"WANNA HELP ME UP, BITCH?" He shouted. I pouted.  
>"Only if you be nice…" I teased. "And admit that Kakuzu was tentacle raping you." He moaned in pain.<br>"Fuck no bitch!" He hissed.  
>"Well then sucks to be you!" I sang, kicking him in the crotch again- and running for my life.<br>-

So, dinner was kiiiiiinda awkward.  
>I was sitting across from Itachi, next to me was Shilo- who I'm assuming had ALREADY eaten enough. Next to her, Deidara, next to him was Pein, next to Pein was Konan, next to Konan was Itachi, next to Itachi was Sasori, and next to Sasori was an empty seat, then Kakuzu, Zetsu, Kisame then back to me.<br>Yeah. The circle of life much?  
>Nah, more like the circle of murderous, psychotic, sadistic, serial killers with no brains and two hot girls in bunny suits.<br>I basically kept my eyes glued to Itachi with a creepy grin on my face.  
>Basically no dinner conversation… Well… Until-<br>"FINE. If I kiss you, will you stop staring at me like that?" Itachi gave in, glaring at me. I nodded ecstatically and Itachi leaned across the table grudgingly.

The following all happened at once:  
>OF COURSE Kisame found this the PERFECT time to decide that the soup HE had made was poisoned and spit it out RIGHT on Sasori.<br>Sasori's reflexes kicked in and he kicked Kisame under the table.  
>Kisame fell on top of ME, and I face planted into Shilo's food.<br>"OUCH! YOUR HAND BIT ME!" Shilo roared.  
>"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP? I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS!" Kakuzu bellowed from his spot and threw his plate at the wall.<br>"KAKUZU! YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FOR THIS!" Pein reminded him... loudly  
>Konan stood up looking seemingly pissed off.<br>"I'M PREGNANT!" She screamed over the noise.  
>A squirrel randomly ran across the table, and out of nowhere Tobi followed it by diving across the table screaming "SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL!" Over and over.<br>Hidan burst through the doors yelling furiously "WHAT THE FUCK IS MAKING SO MUCH NOISE?"

Then… the lights went out.  
>I screamed at the sudden darkness, and grabbed the closest person I could find.<br>Plants crashed, people shouted and I think I might have wet myself.  
>"WHO TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF?" Pein bellowed, clearly not enjoying himself.<br>"ME~" Tobi sang. "Tobi figured that everyone would be so happy that the lights went back on, no one would be mad at Tobi for ruining dinner with my pet Squirrel!" He sounded a bit too happy….  
>Tobi turned the lights back on and there was silence.<br>Shilo and Deidara were making out on the table.  
>I looked up to see whom I have been hugging, to see none other than….<br>Myself clinging on to Kakuzu.  
>Great. He's probably gonna make me pay for this.<p>

"GET THE HELL OFF MY TABLE!" Pein ordered angrily, while a grinning Deidara and somewhat proud Ino climbed off the table.  
>I realised I still hadn't let go of Kakuzu, who was feeling really tense.<br>Maybe he thought I was Hidan in the dark…

Nobody said a word. We all just stood around, staring at the mess. Until Kisame decided to break the tension.  
>"Wait Konan… You're pregnant?"<br>What an ice breaker.  
>"N-no!" She blushed while everyone stared at her shocked. "I was joking..." She mumbled.<br>I frowned, realising I just missed my only chance to kiss Itachi.

"DAMNIT TO HELL!" I screamed in the silence, finally letting go of Kakuzu. "FUCK YOU KISAME! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO KISS HIM AND… FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" Shilo cut me off by placing her hand over my mouth.  
>"Ewww!" I said pulling it away. "You've been holding hands with Deidara! Don't put his gross germs on meh!" She rolled her eyes.<br>"What are you, seven?"  
>"You know…" Itachi mumbled from the other side of the room(How did he get there I wonder…) "I think you would enjoy kissing Kakuzu more."<br>I visibly gagged. Kakuzu looked offended.  
>"Oh no I didn't mean to hurt your feelings it's just that- I mean- you're…. you're like 90 man! It's a bit weird."<br>"Yet you're okay with me 'raping' Hidan?" He asked confused.  
>"Wait… YOU'RE ADMITING IT?" I shouted pointing a finger at him.<br>"That's gross." Shilo added.  
>Kakuzu sighed.<br>"I'm not even going to bother fighting you idiots…" He muttered walking away.

"So…" Kisame wondered, "Konan, who's the daddy?" He smirked.  
>"I'M NOT PREGNANT DAMNIT!"<br>-

So about a week later, I was enjoying the scent of Lemon fresh in Sasori's MY bed.  
>However, Shilo was snoring obnoxiously.<br>Instead of counting sheep, I was attempting to shoot them down.  
>Wow. This is what living with serial killers has done to me!<br>A loud crack made me jump.  
>And suddenly, an arm was draped around my neck.<br>I screamed, and Shilo shot up looking around.  
>"Oh, hi Hilly. I'm so sorry- I have moved on. I LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE NOW!" She cried dramatically.<br>So it was Hilly….  
>BAM!<br>"What was that for?" Hilly cried, holding his face in pain.  
>"For raping my shoulder!" I snapped.<br>Hilly pouted sadly.  
>"I was just giving you a hug!"<br>"That was the worst hug I have ever received in my life! Hell, I think I'd rather hug Kakuzu!" I shouted at him.  
>"So, what happened to your bunny outfits?" He asked, looking somewhat depressed.<br>"Burnt." I said a little too quickly.  
>"I still have mine!" Shilo purred, flashing him a wink.<br>Of course she didn't actually LIKE him. She was just determined to woo him.  
>"Well that's a shame. You're going to NEED them." He grinned.<br>I glowered.  
>"What?" I asked him.<br>"Yeah, well if you want to prevent Sasori's death. Otherwise I could just skip to Itachi's death." He told me, with a smirk.  
>I cursed under my breath.<br>"Make me another one. Make it sexy." I said in monotone.  
>"Sexy?" He raised an eyebrow.<br>"I need to IMPRESS Itachi." I smiled dreamily.  
>"I'm not sure I approve of that." He frowned.<br>Shilo stepped between us, in her bunny outfit. (When the heck did she change?)  
>"Now, now- Don't become a creep Hilly." She smirked.<br>"Why are you so obsessed with me?" He shouted at her.  
>"I only like the ones with curves!" he said, using his hands to define 'curves.'<br>Shilo was fuming.  
>"I HAVE CURVES!" She barked.<br>"Tch, not when you're next to her!" He said pointing to me… Or my Hinata's chest.  
>"You do realise you only like me because of my body! Hell, it isn't even MY body!" I told him.<br>"Technically- it is." He told me.  
>"Whatever. So- you said Sasori's death, meaning that the Kazekage ark is up next, isn't it?" I asked.<br>"Yep, TOMORROW!" He sung.  
>"WHAT? But that Shinigami girl Emily or whatever said we were a MONTH before Naruto got back to the village!" Shilo squeaked.<br>"Well, time flies when you're killing zombies!" Hilly laughed.  
>With a click of his fingers, I was in a damn bunny suit again.<br>"FUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK!" I shouted.  
>"I SAID MAKE IT SEXY, NOT HALF SEE-THROUGH!" I cried.<br>The whole stomach area was replaced with some sort of fishnet material.  
>"Wow. That… Is making me jealous." Shilo said through gritted teeth.<br>"By the way- you two SUCK at this level." Hilly told us.  
>"I mean, one of you has kissed one guy- but you're making out CONSISTANTLY!<br>And then Erin hasn't kissed ANYONE!" He said, waving his arms around frantically.  
>"Well, anyway get a move on. I'm bored already." He sighed.<br>And he appeared behind me, hugging me.  
>Yeah, wait- no, HUGGING? He was copping a FEEL!<br>I turned around to beat his head in, but he was gone.  
>"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" Shilo laughed.<br>"That was the closest you're gonna get to a man!" She winked.  
>I was bright red, and FURIOUS.<br>"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!" I screamed.  
>"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Came Hidan's voice from the next room.<br>"MAKE ME!" I shouted back.  
>Give it a few seconds, and he slammed through the door.<br>Then paused.  
>And stared.<br>"Do you pull those things out of your ass?" He shouted, pointing.  
>I stormed up to him, and kneed him hard in the groin.<br>Ouch.  
>"Sorry Hidan. I'm pissed off." I shouted, heading out the door.<br>"Where are you GOING?" Shilo asked behind me.  
>I turned around with an evil grin.<br>"To make out with Itachi." 


	6. Time travellers!

-  
><strong>Shilo-<br>**Seeing as Erin stormed off, I guess I should go back to sleep. However, I can't now that I know that they're going after Gaara TOMORROW!  
>If Pein lets us…..<br>I walked around silently until I found a curious wooden door.**  
><strong>Gently, I pushed on the frame, and without a single creak it opened.  
>It lead to some stairs, which I walked down.<br>As I neared the bottom, a horrible stench became apparent to me, and I held my nose trying not to gag.  
>It was the smell of corpses, death, and blood. The same scent that we grew to ignore in High school of the Dead.<br>I bravely walked through, and my eyes widened at what I saw.  
>The first thing my brain registered?<br>Dead people hung from their feet against the wall, under a bathtub of blood.  
>Next to that- a huge crate full of human innards. At this I had to hold my breath to stop from puking.<br>Then, a large blood red basin, with little bits and pieces of body floating around in it.  
>Next to that, stacks of Mannequins, wooden arms, legs, heads, tails- EVERYTHING was piled up in a corner.<br>Turn to the right a little more, and you see heaps of different weapons and next to that, a bunch of medical herbs, antidotes and poisons, piled up next to a large desk stacked with paper.  
>At this desk- was none other than Sasori himself.<br>Not even bothering to turn around, he spoke.  
>"What do you want, brat?" He spat.<br>I pouted. What a kill-joy.  
>"I want to request that Hinata and I go to Sunagakure with you!" I pointed.<br>He frowned, and turned to me darkly.  
>"No, you are not. Why are you back in that slutty costume?" He asked, suddenly looking weirded out.<br>"I like it." I said. It was the truth, I mean that thing is DARN comfortable.

"Aren't you cold?" He blinked. I was about to ask if he was crazy, seeing as it was like 40 degrees- but then remembered- HE COULDN'T FEEL.  
>I shook my head, and walked over to him.<br>"What are you doing?" I asked him.  
>"I'm soaking my weapons in poison." He replied, concentrating on his work.<br>I grimaced. This guy was gonna die soon.  
>"You really should make the poison on the weapons inside your puppets, separate to the poison you put on that tail you know." I told him wearily.<br>"Don't try and give me advice. You're just a stupid little bitch." He growled darkly at me.  
>"Who're you calling stupid? Do you even HAVE a brain? Literally?" I snapped accidently.<br>He frowned impatiently.  
>"How do you know?" He asked.<br>I covered my hand over my mouth, feeling like a moron. Was that against the rules?  
>"W-well it's just…" I trailed off.<br>"Deidara told you?" He guessed.  
>NO! NONONONONONO!<br>"Y-yeah…" I muttered.  
>Whoops.<br>"That brat." He hissed.  
>I snickered.<br>Deidara was gonna get yelled at.  
>"I REALLY insist I go to the sand village with you." I murmured under my breath.<br>He turned to glare at me with an irritated sigh.  
>"Why?" He asked.<br>I blinked.  
>"B-because I had a… premonition." I muttered, looking down.<p>

**Erin-**

So I found myself, on my back, in the hallway- staring at the ceiling helplessly.  
>As soon as I walked into that room, Itachi was waiting.<br>He kicked me out, LITERALLY kicked, and then slammed the door.  
>So here I am, not even bothering to get up.<br>I'm just a depressed little slutty bunny.  
>I stood up, brushing the dirt of my little slutty costume.<br>Hilly is a real bitch. It must be the Mohawk.  
>I furiously banged on Itachi door.<br>"Pizza man." I lied in a deep voice.  
>I heard him sigh and the door opened.<br>"If I kiss you will you go away?" He muttered frustrated.  
>"Yes."<br>He leaned down to kiss me (Very happy moment).  
>I stood up on my tippy toes trying to reach up to him, our lips almost touching.<br>"You are to go to bed now." I twitched, turning to Konan who stood behind me.  
>As soon as I turned my back- Itachi slammed his door shut.<br>"Where is your friend?" She asked, totally not caring that SHE JUST RUINED MY ONLY CHANCE TO KISS THE HOTTEST GUY THAT HAS EVER LIVED.  
>SAD FACE.<br>Then there was silence.  
>"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WORKSHOP, YOU SLUT!" Sasori's voice screamed.<br>"LET ME ON THE MISSION, BITCH!" Shilo screamed in reply.  
>"NO!"<br>"YES!"  
>"NO!"<br>"NO!"  
>"YES!"<br>"THANK YOU!"  
>"WHA- YOU LITTLE BITCH! YOU TRICKED ME." Sasori screamed.<br>Shilo bolted down the corridor, then paused when she saw us.  
>"You and you. Pein says, shut up and get into bed." Konan deadpanned.<br>I snickered at Shilo who laughed.  
>"That sounded dirty..." She grinned.<br>"I'd gladly accompany him." I mumbled drooling.  
>Konan face palmed.<br>"Idiots…."

**Shilo-**  
>Like we could go to sleep. We had serious planning to do!<br>"And then she freaking INTERUPTED the kiss. That's the second time tonight!" Erin ranted.  
>I rolled my eyes.<br>"So why was Sasori so pissed off?" She asked.  
>"I started mocking his height. He's shorter than me!" I grinned.<br>We were both trying to sleep, but both ended up talking.  
>Erin snuggled against Sasori's ex…. Bed….. and sighed.<br>"You know, Sasori's lemon fresh scent reminds me of someone… But I can't figure out who…"

**Emily-  
><strong>  
>I felt really bad for the poor girl in front of me.<br>"Look! I am telling you that-"  
>"Nope. Not dead." she shouted, covering her ears stubbornly.<br>"You DIED! I swear it!" I shouted, getting frustrated.  
>"Bitch, what happens to me now then?" The small statured brunette challenged, crossing her arms.<br>"Well, first we have to find you an Anime-"  
>"NO!"<br>"Huh?"  
>"I HATE Anime."<br>"WH-what? Then how'd you end up here?"  
>"I'm LOOKING for my friends." She spat perilously, cracking her knuckles. <p>

**Erin-**

"?" I begged, on my knees, to Pein.  
>"No."<br>That bitch.  
>I clung to his leg desperately.<br>"BUT I'M BORED!" I whined, pouting at him.  
>"I don't care."<br>MOTHER FU-  
>"If you don't care, then why can't we go on the mission?" Shilo interrupted my inner swearing session.<br>"Because I said so. And you're not Ninja. You suck." Pein pointed out.  
>"That's what she said." Shilo smirked devilishly.<br>"What? Who said it?" Pein asked.  
>I could've face-palmed. I really could have.<br>Stupid Ninja and their clean minds.  
>"Give me twelve good reasons why we CAN'T go." I demanded smugly, putting a hand on my hip.<br>Konan let out a frustrated groan next to Pein.  
>"Just let them go on the fucking mission! I don't even <em>care<em> anymore!"  
>I exchanged victorious looks with Shilo.<br>"Konan, the only reason we've kept them alive is because you said you gave a damn." Pein deadpanned, grabbing a kunai and pointing it towards us.  
>"Why didn't you TELL me, you didn't want them sooner?" He almost growled.<br>Konan shrugged casually, with a blank expression.  
>"B-but… Don't you love us?" I whimpered, putting on my best 'I'm so cute, you can't fucking dream of ignoring me' face.<br>She didn't even raise a brow.  
>Fuck.<br>Pein threw the kunai towards Shilo.  
>So what did I do? I activated my Byakugan… I took a Hyuuga stance… Then hid under the table screaming.<br>Both Konan and Pein almost displayed emotion when Shilo effortlessly caught the kunai out of reflex.  
>She then blinked realising she'd pretty much fucked up our cover.<br>Then I realised so had I, activating the Byakugan.  
>"What… Was that?" Pein asked slowly, frowning more than I thought possible for him. Which wasn't that much.<br>"WAIT! Before you torture us, and interrogate us… And torture us, I will explain EVERYTHING!" I screamed jumping out from under the table and kneeling before 'his majesty.'  
>Shilo cracked her knuckles, furious that Pein even DARE throw a kunai at her.<br>"No. I say we beat them up where they stand, AND THEN tell them everything." She laughed somewhat sadistically, a bad aura forming around her.  
>"Are you stupid? We can't beat S-Class NINJA!" I shrieked as Shilo paused In sudden realisation.<br>"FUCK!" She yelled, joining me on my knees and begging for mercy.  
>Pein looked at us expectantly, waiting for our explanation.<br>"W-we are actually… Uh… Are actually time travellers who… uh, we travel in a… Um…. Blue police box called the TARDIS. We have come b-back to save your… uh… your… CULT, from e-e- oh, what is that word?" I asked, turning to Shilo.  
>"Extinction!" She nodded along.<br>"Yeah."  
>I think I just realised that we're… Kind of stupid…<br>Pein gritted his teeth.  
>"You… expect me to buy, this BULLSHIT?" He shouted, totally enraged.<br>"You expect me to BUY this is your actual body, douche hoe transvestite!" Shilo bit back, getting to her feet and rolling up her invisible sleeves.  
>That… was around the time she started to fight him.<br>Trust me, she failed alright… But it went something like this:

Shilo throws a heavy metal desk at Pein who uses his magical gravity—defying powers to push it back at her.  
>She took the hit and slammed into the wall, but stupidly proceeded to get back up and try and land a hit on him.<br>Mr. Magical Rainbows sent her flying again.  
>So, 20 minutes after he'd beat her to a bloody pulp, he paused and remembered something she'd said.<br>"How did you know this isn't my real body."  
>"KONAN'S PREGNANT!" I shouted, pointing accusingly at the blue-haired woman.<br>"That would explain the bitchy mood-swings." Pein muttered.  
>There was a sickly silence, as both me and Pein backed away out of instinct.<br>"You… I'll get you later. Ino, Hinata- Go on the stupid mission. If you survive, you can come back to us. If you die… Well, that's one step closer to world peace." Konan said, with much annoyance.  
>We burst out of there in a flash, as we heard Pein's screams echo through the base.<br>Well, not really… But that's what I wanted to happen.

I watched, slightly disturbed as Shilo skipped off to tell her 'boyfriend' the good news.  
>"Don't forget to get changed!" She had called to me. Really? How does she even like that bunny outfit? They aren't THAT comfortable… Well just a bit, BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!<br>I, however was determined to get a kiss before we left.

"LOVE ME!" I screamed, as I lunged at Itachi with puckered lips.  
>Itachi, almost effortlessly stepped to the side, revealing an unsuspecting Kisame.<br>"FUCCCKKKKKK!" I shouted, as I collided with the shark-man's lips…  
>Well, at least I got a kiss right?<br>A totally accidental one.  
>He shoved me off him with no visible struggle, and I glared as Itachi walked casually around the corner of the corridor.<br>I kept my glare on the wall for a few seconds, before Shilo and Deidara walked in, looking like twins, and arguing.  
>"YOU, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN TEARS!"<p>

**Shilo P.O.V**  
>I had to tell him, so that his heart wouldn't break.<br>"I'm going to cheat on you." I waited for the sadness, tears or shouting that was supposed to come.  
>But none of that happened. Instead Deidara shrugged carelessly and replied with;<br>"So am I."  
>THAT. CHEATING. WHORE!<br>"HOW DARE YOU!" I shouted, as we stormed down some hallways.  
>"What? You're going to cheat too, un!" Deidara defended, confused.<br>I waved at Itachi who passed us stoically, as always.  
>"But I'm ALLOWED. You, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN TEARS." I shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at the blonde.<br>He opened his mouth to say something back, when I spotted Erin, lying on the ground, glaring at the wall, whilst Kisame stormed off in the opposite direction.  
>"Look! I'll cheat RIGHT NOW, UN!" Deidara shouted, walking up to Erin, picking her up, and kissing her briefly, before dropping her on the floor.<br>Now… Usually… I would be pissed off. But surprisingly, no, I wasn't.  
>I… WAS DEMONIC!<br>Before Erin could even react, I punched her, straight between the eyes.  
>"MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE!" She cried, peeling over as it sprayed blood everywhere.<br>"BITCH! BITCH! I'LL KILL YOU!" I Screamed, pinning her down, and ringing her neck with my hands.  
>Deidara, was pretty much shocked. Mouth agape.<br>"YOU KISSED KISAME, DIDN'T YOU? HE'S MINE YOU WHORE! BITCH! HOE! SINNER!" I screamed, completely ignoring the fact that Deidara kissed her.  
>It was Kisame I was angry about.<br>"What the FUCK, MAN! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! …And how did you even KNOW ABOUT THAT?"  
>"HEATHEN! BASTARD, JUSTIN BIEBER FANGIRL! SHAME, SHAME!" I shrieked meaningless things, as I tried to kill my best friend.<br>Then, I was ripped off her by tentacles.  
>Yes, I did think I was going to get raped at first.<br>"What the fuck is wrong with you, crazy bitch!" I heard Hidan shout.  
>But my vision was blinded, and I… Think I might have anger management issues…<p> 


End file.
